I Learned a New Word Today - Ego Is the Enemy

I’ve been reading more, which means I’ve been learning more. More specifically new words. There’s a lot of learning to be done, especially when encountering a new word knee-deep in a good book. I do my best to underline and look up unfamiliar words while reading. Here are some new words I’ve learned while reading Ego Is the Enemy.

  • Evisceration - to remove an organ from (a patient) or the contents of (an organ)

  • Ephemeral - lasting a very short time

  • Peremptorily - putting an end to or precluding a right of action, debate, or delay

    specifically, not providing an opportunity to show cause why one should not complySisyphus -

  • Precipice - a very steep or overhanging place

  • Admonish - to express warning or disapproval to especially in a gentle, earnest, or solicitous manner

  • Eschewed - to avoid habitually especially on moral or practical grounds: SHUN

  • Stoic - a member of a school of philosophy founded by Zeno of Citium about 300 b.c. holding that the wise man should be free from passion, unmoved by joy or grief, and submissive to natural law

  • Demosthenes - a Greek statesman and orator of ancient Athens. His orations constitute a significant expression of contemporary Athenian intellectual prowess and provide an insight into the politics and culture of ancient Greece during the 4th century BCE.

  • Petulant - childishly sulky or bad-tempered

  • Obstinacy - stubbornly refusing to change one's opinion or chosen course of action, despite attempts to persuade one to do so

  • Malady - a disease or disorder of the animal body

  • Intuit - to know, sense, or understand by intuition

  • Satiate - the quality or state of being fed or gratified to or beyond capacity

  • Circumspect - careful to consider all circumstances and possible consequences

  • Subsume - To include or place within something larger or more comprehensive

  • Vacillate - to waver in mind, will, or feeling - hesitate in choice of opinions or courses

  • Destitution - especially: such extreme want as threatens life unless relieved

  • Ignominy deep personal humiliation and disgrace

  • Vicissitude - a favorable or unfavorable event or situation that occurs by chance - a fluctuation of state or condition

My 2018 and 2019 Reading List

Recently I had a conversation with a friend about the early 2000s Accelerated Reader program. We laughed about how we raced to finish books worth various numbers of points, with hopes of earning enough points to be invited to the end of quarter Accelerated Reader pizza party. It was a huge deal! Also worth noting, Harry Potter books were usually worth 30 points (my sister’s favorite) while my books, Junie B Jones, were usually worth about 3. lol

19 years later there is no pizza party to reward me for reading and I can guarantee I’d read a whole lot more if there were. Today’s rewards for reading consists of less carbs and new strategy, an expanded vocabulary, and anecdotes from people I’ve never met that’ll probably ring true throughout my lifetime.

Below you’ll find a list of books I’ve read in 2017 and 2018 (when I sort of started to keep track) and a list of books I plan to finish before end of year.

2016

  1. The Alchemist

  2. You are a Badass

  3. GirlBoss

2017

  1. The Year of Yes

  2. The Four Agreements

  3. The Defining Decade

2018

  1. Big Little Lies

  2. What I Know For Sure

  3. 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership

  4. Very Good Lives

2019 List

  1. Think and Grow Rich

  2. Becoming

  3. If Beale St. Could Talk

  4. Solid Ground

  5. Ego Is the Enemy

I’ve started the following but have yet to finish: The Lean Startup, The Hard Thing About Hard Things, Atomic Habits, The Power of Now, Design Thinking.

Do you have any good book recommendations? Drop titles in the comments, please. :)

Today I Turned 26 and Realized How Much I Miss Being Uncomfortable

Today I turn 26.

While 26 isn’t exactly 21, 18, or 25, I still feel I should be more excited. I spent the past year doing all of the “right” things. Reading more, chasing job promotions and new opportunities, saving money and investing heavily into my 401k. I’ve traveled more and have easily attended every concert and festival under the sun.

Why do I feel so MEH?!

I realized this morning that in the past year, I have not been uncomfortable. I can only think of one situation that meant so much to me I almost threw up I was so nervous when I experienced it (gross I know but now you really know what I mean). Every experience that has involved me being extremely nervous, uncomfortable, or unsettled has ended in my life-changing for the better. Those experiences force me to rely on God, change me, and lead me to become a better woman. As I reflect on the things that I will start, stop, and tweak in my 26th year, I’ve decided to start asking myself the following question, “What am I doing this week that will probably make me want to throw up before I actually do it? (still gross but…)”

Yes, it sounds a little extreme, and no I don’t plan to throw up frequently, but I think its a great question. It reinforces the idea that being uncomfortable is necessary.

Thoughts?

AB + Psychiatry

I spent April 3, 2018 (aka my 24th birthday) in a psychiatrist’s office. That I decided to confront my more frequent panic attacks I began having in my childhood. I felt lonely, afraid, and super confused. A little less than one year later, I thought it’d be nice to reassess where I am in life, and the benefits of consistently seeing a psychologists and taking prescribed antidepressants. See the very bottom for more resources.

  1. Though medication does not cure panic attacks it is helpful. Some mornings I feel dizzy, other mornings I feel fatigued. All things considered I’d say medication gives my brain the ability to slow down. This in turn enables me to attend work and live own my own without the fear of suddenly breaking into spasms of panic.

  2. I am not broken. I accompany my medication with bi-monthly visits to a licensed PhD psychologist. Through visits with Dr. Keith, I have learned that there is nothing to fix. Panic attacks do not leave you broken therefore, there is not one thing to fix. Can you believe I paid money to learn this? Haha. Therapy in addition to medication allows me to feel secure given the methods and tools I learn on how to handle panic attacks before, during, and after.

  3. I am so thankful for my immediate family, extended family, and friends. If you are experiencing a mental illness, do not suffer in silence. Even if you do not tell a close connection, tell a therapist. There are many resources and many people who can relate. For 14 years I ignored an illness. Last year, I decided to confront it, to speak about it out loud. First to myself, then family, then to a doctor. Family and friends won’t rid you of your illness it will however, make the journey more bearable.

Resources

Therapyforblackgirls.com

My Favorite Anti-anxiety Affirmations

  • I keep my mind too busy thinking positive and constructive thoughts to have much time to worry.

  • I am learning to control my mind and chose the thoughts that I think.

  • I am learning to consciously choose what I think, and I choose thoughts that are supportive and beneficial for me.

Wondering how to find a therapist or psychiatrist who accepts your insurance: Visit Zocdoc.com.

Atlanta, GA - Income-based therapy here, here, and more low-cost counseling centers here.